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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Energy

Sorry for leaving you in a lurch after my last despairing post.  Let me begin by saying things are looking up.  Definitely up.

A friend of mine refers to some people as "good vibe" people. I know a lot of good vibe people.  Chances are, you are one of them.  But I'm not here to write about people today, but places.  Places also definitely have a vibe, an energy that is palpable and that affects our own energy for better or for worse.

When I walked into my house a few days ago, my house didn't have a bad vibe, but the energy that filled it wasn't mine.  It was unfamiliar.  It was (for me) stagnant.  After being there a few hours I left convinced that I wasn't going to feel comfortable in the space.  I wrote my last post.

However, before I left my house, I opened the windows.  I wanted, needed, to move the stagnant air.

There is one other time I have felt really uncomfortable in a part of my house, so much so that I needed to change the energy.  My house was broken into a few years ago, but even though that was a little scary and I felt violated, it didn't take long to feel comfortable in my house again.  My energy was still the dominant energy in the house. I changed some habits so that I felt safe again.  Pretty easily and without much fanfare, life when on.  As I think about it, I'm surprised by this fact, but it's the truth.

Besides a few days ago, the other time I needed to change the energy in my house was after a gathering went horribly wrong.  It went so wrong that I didn't even want to- couldn't without feeling sick- be in the room of the gathering.  The energy spewed, in some cases hateful and hurtful, strongly inhabited the room in a way I didn't previously know was possible.  I knew something in the room needed to change, because I wanted to feel comfortable again in my own home.  I opened the windows and performed a sort of cleansing ritual.  That helped.  I also enlisted the help of a friend who did a smudging ceremony for me.  After that I knew the room was fully cleansed, fully mine again.

A few days ago when I returned to the house after opening the windows and leaving for a few hours, I could tell a change had begun.  The air was no longer stagnant.  The energy was different.  I was relieved and grateful. The air that came with the rain that fell later that day washed away the recent past. I could feel it happening, leaving the space clean, cool, fresh.

It was only after this cleansing ritual that God performed for me that I could begin to unpack, to inhabit the space.  I'm not finished unpacking and I know I'll be both purging and repacking in the coming months.  That's OK.  I think I'm up for the task.

It was only after my kitchen was fully in order that I'd allow anyone else into the house.  I'm glad I waited.  As with my time in Montenegro, I just needed some time and space to get my bearings.  I didn't know when I'd be ready...until I was ready.

Other people have now entered the house.  Food has been made, a meal shared, and my cats are back.  The energy is in my house is good; it is moving.  I think I'd call my house a good vibe house now.  Though this is the case, I still hesitate to call it my home, only because I don't want to get too attached. I'll be leaving again.  Maybe I'll rent the house or maybe I'll sell it.  These are details still unknown.

I am grateful to be in a good vibe space for now.  You are invited to share it with me for minutes, hours, or days.  I mean this sincerely.  In my travels I learned the beauty of sharing good vibe space.  Who am I not to open mine up for you to enter?  You are welcome.



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